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Poetry help  — October 1, 2016

Poetry help 

(I had to write a transcendentalist poem for English class, and this is my first draft but I need some honest opinions so I know what to work on.. )
Oh tree, you grow towards the sky 

That cannot be touched 

Your roots ground you

Reminding you of your limits

But tall isn’t tall enough 

And soon the power corrupts you
You leave your seeds in hope

of offspring to keep your legacy alive 

But seeds are the food of birds

Leaving your journey to the sky 

and your legacy 

Soon to be forgotten 
You loathe these limits 

 nature has set upon you 

Time is so short

And the sky is so distant 
Surrounded by grassy fields

and song bird’s melodies 

While the gracious morning sun

shines down upon you

You mutter and bicker

Rather than notice everything 

you have

Copious reasons to be happy 

Yet you reach for the unattainable 

Further, just a little further 

Whisper your leaves as they snake upwards

Further, because close isn’t good enough

Not when you can taste the sky 

(I’m in 11th grade btw) 

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